Originally Written on May 2019
Sherina : A Case study
Sherina was raised in a typical South India Muslim household of the 80's and 90's along with her elder sister and a single independent mother who was struggling to make ends meet financially amidst facing social stigma being a widower. To get married into a decently wealthy family and transform into a modest housewife was what she considered her life's goal. She schooled for the sake of schooling and acquired a degree in literature for the sake of being a graduate. Eventually, following the then social trend she embraced the institution of marriage which was undoubtedly, arranged.
Fast-forward sixteen years to 2019. Sherina works as a school teacher for literature and lives with her two teenage daughters and husband in a decent quarters which was a portion of her dowry. The family's only source is what she earns from her teaching, which wouldn't be more than Rs.30,000 a month. The husband is completely dependent for his finances on his wife or his parental family. Apart from being a textbook liability to the marital family, he claims himself as the family's leader and exerts dominance on the women in every aspect ranging from clothes to curfew.
It is clearly evident from the above case study that, the family would be better off both economically and emotionally without the husband/father factor tagging along.
Recently, it has been relatively easier and safer for women to run a household on their own without any male support. But, in many households similar to that of Sherina's, the women are not open to the idea of existing independently.
Before deeming these women narrow minded, other factors that could essentially cease them from calling a divorce have to be considered.
One major factor is the denial from the male or in worst cases even threat of future harassments and disturbances. These situations can be handled with the help of a counsellor or by registering a police complaint in cases of threats or violence.
All the other factors are mostly concerning the mental state of the woman. In most cases, it is the social stigma that surrounds the idea of being a divorcee or an independent parent. In such cases the female would definitely be worried about her social stand in the society, among her relatives or friends post divorce. In certain other cases, where there is no support or backup from the parental side, the idea of existing alone appears a nightmare and the fear of finance might also play a part.
When the practical external factors have been dealt with, it is up to the women to ignore all the stigma and fears and break free from the failed marriage. Such narrow minded thoughts and beliefs within the institution of marriage is an evident speed bump in building a better and healthy nation.